Repost: “Yield”

“The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it!”

“You do you – live your truth, babe!”

These are exemplary of the sentiments I often hear when I discuss faith & sexuality with others. Honestly I find both of them to be pretty reductionistic. Neither go a super long way in actually helping one make responsible life choices or grow in wisdom and discernment.

For those of us who follow Jesus, we do not dive headlong into letting our fickle emotions drive our biggest life decisions. Neither do we throw our internal compass out the window and robotically comply with the modern evangelical standard of biblical interpretation. Rather, we give our allegiance to a living Person — who is very relational, respectful, dignifying, and process-oriented. That being the case, I generally think it is good to develop a deeper and more nuanced approach to sorting through decisions concerning things like our identity and destiny.

In light of the lively discussion some have had since I came out online, I thought it might be good to re-share this post I wrote back in early 2020. Hopefully it will give a good window into how I’m trying to navigate my own approach to life. Maybe it will even give someone else some food-for-thought in their own process…


I asked a leader for prayer a while back. Instead of a mere prayer he gave me a prophecy. “I see you standing at a fork in the road,” he said “and you want to know if you should turn to the right or to the left. But the only sign the Lord is giving you is to ‘yield.’” How true that message was…

So often in life I want clear-cut, directional answers. I want to be told what to do. Where to go. How to move forward. What to believe. Over and over though, God seems to ask me to simply “yield.” To open my heart to Him in the midst of my tension and grow in wisdom rather than certainty about my own future.

When it comes to decision-making, I think the Lord is always teaching me that the important thing is not that we figure out WHAT to do as much as HOW to do it. The posture we take is more important than the conclusion we come to.

For instance, when we make big choices….

Are we running from difficulty and discomfort or facing it bravely?

Are we making our decisions independently in isolation or in community with trusted loved ones who are invested in our wellbeing?

Are we being haste and reactive to situations or thoughtful and responsive?

Are we wanting God to make decisions for us? Or are we dialoguing with Him and inviting Him into our own process of taking ownership for where we end up?

Are we thinking in black-and-white like a fundamentalist, “throwing the baby out with the bathwater” on all our old approaches? Or are we weighing our decisions in light of their full complexity and admitting we don’t have a fool-proof plan for how to proceed?

Are we being both emotionally honest and intellectually honest with ourselves and others?

Are we being true to both our own deepest desires and strongest convictions, or are we repressing them?

Are we moving and acting out of a place of fullness, internal rest, trust and health? Or are we operating out of anxiousness, insecurity, compulsion, self-preservation and heightened confusion?

And of course, are we wrestling with what we understand the various authors of Scripture had to say on the subject? They do have an abundance of time-tested, reliable revelation to offer.

There’s always so much to consider in life. We’re always evolving, we’re always facing new challenges and we often find ourselves in new places of transition. The trick is not to make the “right” turn at the crossroad. The trick is to lean into Christ’s leadership, His logic, His ways-of-operation in the middle of it all. We make a lot less regrettable mistakes when we are mindful to yield and follow His approach as we proceed.

Related Posts:

A Bit About My Faith & Sexuality

RE: coming out