Real Love

Sometimes I don’t feel like I can sing loud enough, raise my hands high enough, or get low enough on the floor to sufficiently express my love for Jesus. I want to give Him everything… My reputation. My obedience in the secret place. My diligence in daily walking out His plan for my life. Any sacrifice I can make that will feel like the semblance of a worthwhile offering in return for the impact of His unfathomable kindness towards me…

Even with that being true, and feeling it to the core of my being at times, I am continuously reminded of how empty it would all be if that’s how I measured my sense of spiritual well-being or godliness.

I keep being brought back to the simplicity of 1 John 4:10,

“This is real love—not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son…”

I am the object of Love. The recipient. 

He is Lover, I am Beloved. 

My passion and devotion wane, but His fountain never runs dry.

My response to Jesus’ gift of Himself is infinitely inferior to the revealed Love-of-God-in-Christ. It pales in comparison. 

Above all else, I just want to be marked by a growing confidence in this scandalous Love — ever enamored more deeply still in the face of it.

Thinking Aloud Here….

It seems to me that part of the Church has a good grasp on how the Gospel so wonderfully relieves us from the pressure to measure up when we face our ongoing weaknesses and failures, and part of the Church has a good grasp on how radically empowering and transformative the Gospel is. But the two camps seem to only emphasize one of those messages, often downplaying the other side.

One side says we have been declared righteous and made “legally” justified before God — able to draw near to Him to experience compassion no matter how continuously rough and messy our lives are.

The other says we are dead to sin and free from its slavery by virtue of our co-crucifixion with Christ — now needing to learn who we are and discover how to walk in the victory that His finished work provides.

My vision is to disciple people who are firmly and continuously grounded in both realities. I want to see believers reveling in the wonder of God’s mercy towards them everyday — unashamed of their finiteness, woundedness, and capacity to “miss the mark”…. but not ultimately defining their own essential nature (or their expectations for the future) by anything other than who they already are in Christ (Galatians 2:20).

Do you have even the slightest clue how much your very existence overjoys God’s heart?

God does not “tolerate” you. Nor does He just “accept” you. No, God absolutely cherishes you and celebrates every fiber of your being. He is mad about you, and wants you for exactly who you are (not “despite” who you are). 

Sometimes I hear believers say things like, “God will take you how you are, but He won’t leave you how you are. Can I get an ‘amen?’” Generally speaking, that kind of messaging really doesn’t sit well with me. It is true that God won’t leave us wallowing in dysfunction and oppression. His love is radically transformational, to be sure. Nevertheless, when He comes alongside us to lift us up, build us up, and empower us to live a more flourishing life — He’s calling the gold out in us the whole time.

We don’t necessarily have to view God as trying to “change” or “fix” anyone. He molds and shapes our futures with us without treating us like we’re mere projects to be improved upon. He crafted us in His beautiful image, and whether we see it in ourselves or not, that is the image within that Christ has successfully redeemed (see Ephesians 4:24).

God also sees our failures and our mess, for certain. Yet He is well able to differentiate who we are from all of that garbage. He will help you learn, grow and course-correct where needed, without ever treating you like there is something intrinsically wrong with you. You are not your own worst thoughts or behaviors, your untamed egotism, or your own self-righteousness (Romans 6:11). Further, your growth (or lack of growth) is not indicative of how utterly treasured and esteemed you already are in all of your uniqueness — to your very core. (Psalm 147:11, Psalm 149:4, Isaiah 62:3-5, Zeph. 3:17, Psalm 139:13-14)

There is no hoop you have to jump through for the Lord to like you, and no authentic part of who He made you to be that you can’t bring to His table of fellowship. As for any guilt, shame, or bondage that interfered with you knowing Him and His favor… He has already addressed and overcome it through His own self-sacrifice on the Cross, once and for all time (Hebrews 10:10).

You are simply and thoroughly desirable to Jesus. Even now He says to you, “You have absolutely captivated my heart, with merely one glance” (Song of Solomon 4:9). Continue reading Do you have even the slightest clue how much your very existence overjoys God’s heart?

A Bit About My Faith & Sexuality

Hesitations

I’ve gone back and forth a few times about whether or not I want to talk about my sexuality much in public. I planned on making a post about it back in November of 2019, and I even had a specific date picked to do so. It was going to be a Sunday. The night before, the pastor of my church randomly called me out of the crowd and prophesied over me that the trajectory of my life was going to be forever different because of that weekend. That seemed like exactly the kind of overly-dramatic boost of encouragement I thought I needed. So I wrote an article, posted it on my blog… and shortly thereafter removed it, without ever publishing it to social media.

My life went on as usual.

All that said, I’ve shared this with a number of you in person or in my home group already. Nevertheless, I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I still need to be more open about it. Especially with some of you that I’ve only come to know in the last couple years. God’s Spirit has seemed to be haunting me lately, regularly impressing upon me to more thoroughly address this subject. So rather than continuing to resist His clear prompting, I’m going to course-correct a bit before entering into 2022.

Here is the long and short of it… Continue reading A Bit About My Faith & Sexuality

A Healthier Approach to My Spirituality

My whole life I’ve had preachers tell me I needed to “crucify the flesh” within me in order to be close to God. “Yes, He is always present, but it’s His MANIFEST Presence that is cut off from us because of our sinfulness.” The solution? Lots of time in isolation crying out to the Lord. Continual pleading for forgiveness. Subjective experiences with the power of the Spirit that would hopefully, finally “mortify” at least some of the power of sin over my life…

A Broken Pattern

I bought into this kind of messaging and I put it into practice. I would hunger and thirst after the manifest Presence. I desperately spent endless hours confessing and renouncing my failures, asking God to cleanse me of every wicked thought or deed. And I chased manifestations of the Spirit like they were Pokemon… “Gotta catch ‘em all!”

Truth be told, there wasn’t much I wouldn’t do at that time for a spiritual high or for a reassurance that I was currently “right with God.” The problem was, it was all temporary. It was cyclical. I’d sin, or even just feel what I perceived was a temptation, and I’d be reminded again of my depravity. I was acutely aware of the apparent distance between myself and the One I wished I could better serve. Any security or assurance I had previously felt would escape me, and I’d be stuck in a mental battle with “conviction” until either 1) I started feeling like I was performing better or 2) I started thinking I’d had a revelation on how to get it right the next time the devil came to test me.

If I ever did seem to succeed at walking in obedience and in peace for a while, I was made to second guess myself by sermons telling me that I needed God to search my hidden motives all the more. After all, “nobody is perfect!” I wouldn’t want to get prideful!

My perpetual prayer was for God to transform me. To deliver me. Essentially, to fix me. All the while, I believed I was “legally justified” and technically in right-standing with God. I just couldn’t seem to get such ideas to bring me consistent comfort.

A New Message

Eventually, I came across some crazy grace-preachers who were preaching a message I’d never heard before… A message that struck me as heretical at worst, or “out of balance” at best. Like Paul, they taught that I was already thoroughly “dead to sin and alive to God” (Romans 6:11,14). That I am no longer “in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God is within” (Romans 8:9). That Jesus actually finished the job of crucifying my old self, and now “it is not I who live but Christ who lives within me” (Galatians 2:20). That, by some mysterious miracle 2,000 years ago, I “have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all” (Hebrews 10:10). According to these guys, I “have been made complete in Christ” (Colossians 2:10)… Most confounding of all, they said I couldn’t be any closer to God than I already am, for “he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” (1st Cor. 6:17).

At first it was hard for me to stomach these radical, absurd notions. Nevertheless, I quickly began to recognize that the depths of my being overwhelmingly resonated with such truths. In a variety of ways, the Spirit of God clearly gave His stamp of approval to these teachings over and over. Through Scripture, I further began to find that these concepts were not just “part” of the Gospel. My research revealed that these concepts were ALL over the whole New Testament (and in much of the Old) — infused in the entire proclamation of Christ’s work.

Slowly but surely, I began a serious, intense religious detox. I was “deconstructing” before it was ever a buzzword. All the while, I fell more and more in love with the person of Jesus and more convinced of both His utter goodness and His insane loyalty to me.

Laying aside my self-righteous piety, I broke up with spiritual desperation. I abandoned my BS repentance rituals. At last, I let go of my confused commitment to what I called “self-denial” (which was really just self-loathing and shame with a nice coat of paint on it).

Very New Results

And would you believe it, my sense of connection with God improved exponentially. I started becoming aware of His nearness and activity in every area of my life — every day. Even on my worst days. I started having many more wild and frequent manifestations of the Spirit and His gifts in my life too, to the degree that I had to get used to NOT having dry-spells anymore. Confoundingly, despite being told that my willful, ongoing sin would push Him away — I even felt close to the Father when I recognized I was practicing bad habits! 

Over time, this all helped me only want to invite Christ’s leadership into my decisions all the more… I welcomed His input on my choices, not because I was still afraid of what would happen to me if I didn’t do so. Rather, it was because I was genuinely confident that He was invested in my well being for the long haul, through thick and thin.

Somehow, all these changes further gave me confidence to become more authentically vulnerable with both God and with other people. I generally quit shying away from discussing my weaknesses, failures or embarrassments. Because of that, I started developing a level of intimacy in my friendships that I didn’t even dream was possible. In the process, I came to see self-acceptance and Christ-like self-sacrifice as working together in harmony (instead of being in tension with one another).

I still embrace the need to address areas of dysfunction in my mindsets and behaviors, of course. Nevertheless, I’m done trying to in any sense improve on who I am. With that, I’ve completely ceased feeling like I get out of touch with God’s nearness! My prayer-life has only been enriched, and with so much less effort than it ever took me in my adolescence…

No Barriers to His Presence

My point in sharing all of this is to encourage you to stop buying into confusing, self-contradictory, mixed-messaging. Give yourself permission to take a deep-dive into the unconditional love and unmerited favor God so freely gives to you. Further, carefully filter through any voices that tell you there are prerequisites or qualifications needed for you to experience oneness with the Lord. 

If we can just quit tripping ourselves up with traditions and arguments that deny the Finished Work of Christ’s Cross, we CAN experience a more substantial satisfaction and contentment in everyday life. Even on our worst days and in our hardest seasons! After about a decade of living this way, I can guarantee it is real and it is better than what much of the evangelical and Charismatic world portrays as possible on this side of the age-to-come.

Lean into the faithfulness of God. He is here, He is for you, and He is endlessly accessible. He refuses to define any part of you by your decisions, and there are no barriers or obstacles standing between the two of you.

 

“Too Much Grace”

I often hear people say, “We need grace, but we don’t want to take advantage of it. We don’t want to take it for granted…” Or they’ll say, “Yes there’s grace, but we also need….” Fill in the blank. It’s as if grace is seen as something that needs to be limited or counterbalanced in order for people to be motivated properly to walk in integrity. As if it can potentially be bad for our spiritual health and our growth if we overdose on God’s goodness.

I say, if we are afraid of having “too much” grace it is probably because we don’t understand the essence, value or function of grace very well. Grace does not necessarily always produce the kind of behavioral modification we are looking for, sure. It’s not utilitarian, pragmatic, or formulaic. It does, however, transform the human heart like nothing else…

Continue reading “Too Much Grace”

Quick Book Review: “Unpunishable”

 

Yo . . .

Buy this book.
Read this book.
Underline the heck out of this book.

• Really great, counter-cultural relationship advice (applicable for all settings) from a professional counselor with high-level expertise.

• Really great perspective for how to deal with the failure of leaders in a way that’s deeply restorative and Gospel-informed.

• Really excellent, thorough theological work on how punishment/retribution/manipulation/insecurity deserves no place in our lives in how we treat one another or how we seek to respect God properly under the New Covenant.

Every disciple 100% needs this kind of perspective-shift.

> See on Amazon.com!

(No I am not getting paid to advertise…haha.)

Book Review: Live Like Jesus

     Recently I finished reading Vineyard pastor Putty Putman’s new book, “Live Like Jesus.” It was

so

dang

good.

     It will be hard to put into words how much I loved it. I will most likely be re-reading it in the not so distant future, just to enjoy it further.

     God has been teaching me so many of the concepts in this book for the last ten years of my life through many different books, teachings, and resources. I often say I have personally gone through a drastic reformation. Throughout this time though I have never found one single book that encapsulates all the main themes of what God has been showing me. Live Like Jesus surprised me by succinctly piecing together these key ideas — each of which I believe have potential to bring widespread change to the way Christianity is expressed in this stage of history.

     I almost wish the book was titled something like Reformational Truths That Will Blow Your Mind. I think that would do much more justice to the contents of its pages!

     This book explains, among other things,

  • why sinning does not make someone a “sinner”
  • why born-again saints with a new nature are able to sin and contradict their true nature
  • why being forgiven and regenerated are not the same thing
  • how being conscious of our union with God enables us to experience the same supernatural power that Jesus walked in
  • how the Gospel impacts not just individuals, but all of society and creation
  • how we effectively handle suffering in our lives with a Christ-like mindset

     Over and over again Putty dissects and assesses the most fundamental pieces of our understanding of the Gospel and gracefully brings new light on what we are looking at. The readers is left at the end feeling incredibly empowered and enlightened. I personally wish I had a book like this ten years ago to save me some of the trouble of sorting my doctrine out over all the time it has taken me!

     Before reading this book I already knew that Putty was one of my favorite living communicators and thought-leaders. This book only re-enforced that for me. It is a resource I will definitely be recommending and giving away far and wide, as I am confident the truths inside of it can apply to anyone who is seeking to walk out their faith in a healthier way.

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Audio: Brian Zahnd on OT Violence

Have you ever wondered why parts of the Bible command grotesque injustice in the name of God? Lately this has been a question I haven’t been able to ignore as much as I could in the past.

I’ve wanted to trust the Scripture’s authority, but also reject any image of the Divine that does not match what I find in the character of Christ as revealed in His meekness on the Cross. And many of the very dark passages I’ve been reading in the Old Testament lately just didn’t seem easy to explain.

I came across this sermon preached by Brian Zahnd, a dude who often has fresh insights on the goodness of God. I feel like he pretty artfully laid out this problem with Scripture and provided a Christo-centric response to it. It’s a very thought provoking talk.

Take a listen and see if you can agree with Brian’s conclusion that Jesus alone is the only “inerrant, infallible Word of God” . . . .

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A Justice-Infused Gospel

Isaiah 61 starts out,

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
    he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
    and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
 to proclaim the year of the Lord‘s favor,
    and the day of vengeance of our God…”

     Jesus used this very passage of Scripture to describe the purpose of His ministry (see Luke Chapter 4). I was struck tonight by the reality that these verses say nothing directly about Jesus coming to save sinners from their guilt or to deliver people from divine wrath on the Day of Judgment. There are plenty of Scriptures that reveal how the Gospel addresses such worries, but Jesus explained His own agenda by listing a somewhat different set of problems He would confront.

     While there is definitely a spiritual form of each of these issues — Christ clearly expressed opposition to poverty, depression, slavery and corrupt criminal justice systems. God’s favor was to be revealed to the oppressed of the earth, and vengeance upon all the strongholds that dominated His children.

     Sometimes I think we make our presentation of the Gospel too ethereal. We talk a lot about God’s forgiveness, justification, Heaven, and the Resurrection. All of these are topics worth deep and repeated exploration. But we somehow have divorced these doctrines from their relevant applications in the here and now.

     God, however, has not.

     I believe Christ’s mission remains the same today as it did the day He stood up in the synagogue to read from this passage in Isaiah. He is the fulfillment of this great prophecy, and where His presence is made known today we should see a manifestation of this reality playing out. A restorative justice should be executed in society everywhere Christ’s ambassadors are releasing His message.

     Let’s trust God to use us to materialize His Kingdom in our scopes of influence in a greater way. As it is written in Isaiah 9:7, “Of the increase of His government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.”

     Amen.

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